


Danielsitting

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, I'm bad at smut, M/M, Mild Smut, Phan AU, babysitting au, except the smut, read at your own risk - dan is a sassy 13 year old, that was really crappy, this is the first fic i'm legit proud of???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:01:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So when Phil walks through his front door, all dyed black hair and pale skin, Dan's expecting a lot more tattoos and piercings, not Muse t-shirts and bright blue converse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Danielsitting

All Dan remembers of Phil Lester is when he convinced Dan to get his ears pierced at the age of eight. Needless to say, Dan's parents were not pleased, and Dan wasn't allowed to see Phil after that - until now. Dan's thirteen now, and his parents decided to let the whole ear-piercing fiasco go and so  _hired Phil to babysit him_  while they're going out of town for the weekend. Saying Dan isn't amused would be an understatement.

So when Phil walks through his front door, all dyed black hair and pale skin, Dan's expecting a lot more tattoos and piercings, not Muse t-shirts and bright blue converse. The only sort of piercings Phil has are earrings, and they're small - not gauges - and shaped like the gay pride symbol: two male signs interlocked. 

Dan reaches up to feel his own earrings. They're the same design as Phil's, but magenta and blue, violet where the two signs overlapped, whereas Phil's are pink.

"Hello."

Dan snaps out of his reverie. 

"Hi," Dan stumbles over his words. "My parents are, uh, in the kitchen."

"Nice to know, but I'm here for Danielsitting," Phil chuckles. "not chit-chatting with parents. I'm guessing you're the Daniel?"

Dan just glares at him. "One, don't call me Daniel. Two, you're fucking  _housesitting_. I'm thirteen, I think I can manage a weekend on my own just fine -"

"And I'm seventeen. Now that we've been introduced we can continue - oh wait, we haven't." Phil says, the sarcastic undertone contrasting badly with his entirely huggable appearance. "I'm Phil, I don't think we've met."

"Dude, I'm the one you convinced to get my ears pierced when I was eight. Did the purple fringe throw you off or something?" Dan says, gesturing to his obnoxiously purple hair.

"Oh, you're  _the_ Dan!" Phil exclaims with a too-large-to-be-healthy grin on his face. "You've grown!"

"It's been five years, Phil. I wouldn't be surprised," Dan is getting progressively more irritated by his annoying (but, somehow, endearing) cheerfulness. "Anyway, my parents are  _still_ in the kitchen, waiting for you."

Dan then proceeds to walk around Phil and start pushing him toward the kitchen. Phil is content to lean back and let Dan waste the energy to get them both to the kitchen.

When they get there, Dan gives Phil a dirty look and lets go of him, smirking at him when he falls onto the tile.

"Dan!" Dan's mum, as always, does not approve - of anything. "Help Phil up and tell me  _what in the world have you done with your hair?!_ "

Dan huffs and extends a hand down to Phil, who gratefully accepts it and pulls himself back up. Dan opens his mouth to answer his mum but Phil - ever the gentleman - answers for him.

"He dyed it, though I fail to see how that's a bad thing. He's allowed to be expressive, right? Because if he isn't, I'd say that's some pretty bad parenting."

She turns her icy gaze on Phil.

"I asked Dan, not you, and I fail to see how your opinion applies here - frankly, I don't know how your opinion applies anywhere. Weren't you the criminal mastermind that convinced my little boy to get his ears pierced?"

Phil raises an eyebrow (only one, which is an incredible feat - Dan has no idea how he does it).

"Wasn't I?" Phil makes an irritated sound that Dan thinks sounds a bit like 'pffpph'. "Anyway, it doesn't look like it's changed his life for the worse. Looks like the opposite, really. So I don't know how this makes me a 'criminal mastermind', or makes my opinion invalid."

Dan's mum gets up from her chair, walks the few feet that distance her from Phil, and slaps him. Shocked, he holds his hand to his cheek. Dan pushes past him.

"What the  _hell?!_ " He's pretty sure he might explode any second. "What the actual fuck, mum? What did Phil do to deserve that?"

"He was being insolent!"

"He was defending himself - and me. You were being a bitch. Who deserves it more - you or him?"

Dan's mum's jaw drops and Dan can't believe he just said that. She takes off her glasses and rubs her eyes, then says, "I'm really regretting hiring Phil for these two days." 

_No shit._

 

\---

 

Two hours after Dan's parents left, he had succesfully convinced Phil to let them get take-away. One of these two hours was spent trying to figure out something that  _didn't_ include the whole menu, and another fifteen minutes were spent by Phil trying to convince Dan that ordering three portions of rice was not a good idea. The two are now huddled in seperate blanketacos on the couch (Phil may be 17, but Dan's pretty sure the '1' is silent) and they have made a silent agreement that when the stuff gets here, Phil's going to talk to the delivery guy - Dan doesn't want him wondering what a thirteen year old is doing ordering enough food to feed five people. Phil eats too much for his own good.

Phil's gone rambling on about something that Dan couldn't care less about, but he takes it as an excuse to look at him. Dan is metaphorically drooling over him, and could probably list every thing he finds attractive about Phil, but it'd take him too long and frankly, Dan's too lazy for that.

When Phil stops talking Dan doesn't notice, at first. He's either too busy staring at Phil to care, or he's zoned out. Phil waves a hand in front of Dan's face. Dan jumps and falls on his back, face flushing and he really hates his face right now because he doesn't exactly, ehh,  _like_ the fact that he blushes so easily. Blood happens to move quickly in Dan's body, he guesses, and not just to his face.

Finally, the doorbell rings and Phil gets up and goes into the foyer, crumpled fifty-pound note in hand. Dan takes this opportunity to look at Phil's phone. Yes, he is an obnoxious thirteen year old and he is going to try his hardest to be even more obnoxious than usual.

He unlocks it without a passcode (hah, loser) and sees a notification in Messages. As he has no moral values, Dan doesn't have any "internal battle" about whether he should open it or not - he just  _does_. There's a text from a friend who Dan doesn't take the time to read the name of - first stop.

_**PJ:** D -- > So how are you getting along? _

Dan's already one to take shit out of context, so he scrolls up to the first message of the day.

_**PJ:** D -- > Todays the day, Phil!_

This PJ guy types like Equius Zahhak and it's worrying Dan - it might be an inside joke, or he might really be a crazy highblood pansexual hermaphrodite strongman troll from another universe.

_You- yeah, im actually quite excited_

_**PJ:**  D --> I noticed._

_**You:**  anywway i havve to go so byeeeeeeee_

_**You:**  dammit emma types like vvriska so i started doin that_

Dan's impressed. So they read Homestuck. Okay, keep scrolling, no time to lose.

_**PJ:** D -- > So what's he like?_

_**You:** idk hes cool_

_**You:** i mean he defended me after his mum slapped me wwhich wwas great_

_**You:** and his earrings are like mine_

_**You:** and i dont care if hes thirteen hes really hot_

_**PJ:** D -- > How does he act around you?_

_**PJ:** D -- > Wait, his mum slapped you? What did you do this time?_

_**You:** i dont knoww_

_**You:** he doesnt talk much_

_**You:** yeah she slapped me because i defended him i guess wwhen his mum got mad at him for dying his hair_

_**You:** anywway its not important_

_**You:** wwhats important is talkin about him_

_**You:** wwe ordered chinese_

_**You:** and hes just sittin there starin at me_

_**You:** he stopped_

_**You:** noww hes blushin_

_**You:** our food wwill get here any minute noww_

_**You:** ok ill catch you up later_

_just now_

_**PJ:** D -- > So how are you getting along?_

Dan sets down the phone, a smug smile playing on his lips. He puts it back where it was originally and wraps himself back up in his blanketaco.

 

\---

 

Dan should be watching Supernatural with Phil, but he can't seem to take his eyes off of Phil's face. He's left admiring all of his facial expressions, his eyes, his nose, his hair, his, uhhh, ears, I guess?? What do I know, I'm just the narrator.

Phil pauses the show after Dan fails to react to the jumpscare - for the third time.

"Dan, are you even watching -" Phil cuts himself off when he notices just where exactly Dan's gaze is drifting (let me give you a hint: it's not a region considered appropriate for thirteen year olds). 

Phil picks up a pen and paper and sketches a tiny Sollux, saying ' _hey dan ii get that phiil'2 hot but liike, pay attentiion to jen2en ackle2. he'2 way hotter_." He then proceeds to tape said drawing to Dan's forehead.

Dan jerks up and rips mini-Sollux off of his forehead. He takes a bit of time, reading and re-reading and admiring the drawing.

A cocky smirk takes the place of a flustered grin and Dan leans toward Phil, letting his lips brush against Phil's ear.

" _But Phil's limited edition."_ Dan breathes.  _"Jensen's on demand. Which is more valuable?"_  


Phil's breath hitches.

There's blood rushing to places he'd rather it didn't, but one glance down shows that Dan isn't much different. Dan's breath on his ear is turning his thoughts into white noise, and Phil's hands move automatically to Dan's waist. The two can feel their pants tightening a bit too much for comfort, and they haven't even  _done_ anything. Phil, meanwhile, is having an internal breakdown (okay, not literally, but you get it, right?)

  
_This is it._ One move of his head and he'll be kissing Dan. Surely if it goes wrong, Phil can still avoid Dan for two days, right? The guest bedroom has a lockable door, and a window, so he can just climb in throught that.

  
_Here goes,_ Phil thinks.

His head swivels ever so slightly to the left, little enough to be able to be passed off as a twitch, but enough that if the other knows his intentions, he'll notice the movement.

And sure enough, he does. One of Dan's hands moves to Phil's cheek, nudging at it until their lips meet. Phil's quick to take the lead, pushing Dan backwards onto his back and hoping this won't be as short-lived as Karkat and Terezi's _thing_ , whatever that was, on the roof in Act 5.

From there, it's about an hour of lazily making out with Supernatural still playing in the background, and Dan's beginning to think that the next two days maybe won't be so bad after all.

* * *

 

It's Sunday, and therefore Phil's last day. Saturday mainly consisted of watching Supernatural, talking about Homestuck, and making out, so Phil's set on taking Dan out today.

Dan protests, insisting that he wants to spend as much time as he can _inside_ with Phil as he can before his parents get back. Phil's stronger, so he just drags Dan down the street. He remembers Friday afternoon, and drops Dan, smirking. Dan yelps and scrambles to his feet, admitting defeat.

They hail a cab and Phil's just about ready to gouge the driver's eyes out when he takes not one, not two, but _three_ wrong turns, forcing him to take a longer route. Twenty minutes later, Phil's holding the door for Dan then taking his hand.

Satisfied, Phil leads Dan into a restaurant. Dan's protesting hugely and he says that it's far too expensive. Phil merely laughs and says,

"I'm being paid to spend time with you, so eating here once won't be a problem."

Dan gives up and lets Phil lead him inside. Phil is being chivalrous, pulling out a chair for Dan and letting Dan choose what to eat and generally being a nice boyfriend. All Dan can think as Phil takes his hand across the table is  _how the fuck did I get this lucky?_  


 

\---

 

After finishing lunch, Phil covers Dan's eyes and leads him outside, down a few blocks, and into the forest. A few minutes pass and they end up in a clearing. Phil takes his hands off Dan's eyes and steps back, letting Dan regain use of his senses.

When he does, he's stunned. The grass is bright green, so bright that Dan can make out each individual blade, and flowers grow all around the clearing and hang from the trees. Dan's taken aback by the explosion of color that surrounds him, then a smile makes its way onto his face. He turns around, taking Phil by the collar of his shirt.

Their lips collide in a mess of teeth and tongue, but it's great all the same. Dan pulls away, breathless, and asks Phil how the hell he found that place.

Phil grins. "I stumbled upon it a few years ago." he says, fiddling with Dan's sleeves. "Came here to calm down whenever I couldn't handle my parents anymore."

Dan kisses him again. "Well it's perfect, Phil."

Then he bursts out laughing, letting peals of laughter fill the forest. When Phil asks what's so funny, Dan looks at him through a layer of tears and forces out "We're living fanfiction!" before falling back into his laughter.

Phil can't help but join in after a bit, the act shaking his chest and making his breath come in strange hiccups. Dan finally calms downs and wipes the tears from his eyes, not bothering to wipe the grin off his face, because honestly, why should he? He's with his boyfriend (of two days, but that's a minor detail) in a clearing that looks like it could be enchanted and he's at least sure that he hasn't grown horns, so at the moment, everything feels perfect.

Dan flops down onto the grass and crosses his arms behind his head. Phil lowers himself to the ground next to him (he honestly does _not_ want to break any bones) and can't help but lace his fingers through Dan's, because he's just too cute and Phil has one day left and he's hell-bent on not wasting it on awkward silences and furtive glances.

Dan, on the other hand, doesn't really give a shit, because Phil lives two blocks away and he can stop by his house every day on the way home from school, and they can make out while Dan's parents think he's doing homework with Brendon and Ryan. Phil doesn't know this, because he got lost on the way to Dan's house, somehow, and ended up driving for fifteen minutes instead of two.

Dan wants to put on Fall Out Boy but he's left his phone at home so he has to settle for Panic! At the Disco and Muse (Phil's choice, of course). Phil doesn't know why Dan's unsatisfied - he looked through Dan's music library yesterday and all he found was Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Muse, and a bit of Green Day, so it's not like he doesn't like them.

Whatever. Phil's not about to let this foul his mood.

They lay side by side for a while, just listening to music and talking about things that shouldn't matter but do, at least to them. When they've finished debating about whether animals think in English or in the sounds they make, Dan rolls over so that he's straddling Phil's hips and places his fingertips on Phil's chest, putting the smallest amount of

pressure, as if challenging him with his thoughts.

_I dare you to try to get up, Lester._

He thinks the _Lester_ so viciously that Phil visibly flinches at his expression. He doesn't dare push himself up, and judging by Dan's smug smirk, that's exactly what he was looking for.

After around a minute (actually, a minute and five seconds, but who's counting?), Dan flashes Phil an innocent smile and sits up, grinding down subtly on where he was sitting.

This, conveniently, happens to be Phil's hips, and Phil suddenly has to stifle a whimper, biting down hard on his bottom lip.

Amused, Dan does it again, this time leaning down to hit him. In the mouth. With his mouth. Softly. Because he likes him.

Phil responds eagerly, taking his own incentive and shyly slipping in his tongue. Dan's too caught up in Phil's lips to notice when Phil rolls them over, when he bucks up and when Phil puts a hand on his hip to hold it down.

He does, however, notice when Phil starts moving, creating friction that both of them needed. Dan's acutely aware of how obnoxiously tight his jeans were _before_ Phil became a fucking sex god in front of his very eyes. He's trying his hardest **(i love dick jokes)** to ignore the sharp pains in his dick as it presses against his zipper. He's not having any luck with that, though.

  
_Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off_ comes on then, and Phil takes this as inspiration and moves straight to Dan's neck, pulling his shirt off and letting Dan unbutton his in turn. Phil moves his mouth to Dan's chest, kissing and sucking and licking, while one hand reaches between them to palm Dan through his jeans.

Startled, Dan lets a moan slip past his lips to be muffled again by Phil's mouth, that wonderful fucking mouth, on his.

Dan's a virgin, but what else is there to be expected from a thirteen-year-old? Phil isn't, though, so he can help Dan if needed. Right?

Phil starts fumbling with Dan's belt and Dan reaches down to help him because even if he _is_ a virgin, that doesn't mean he wants this any less. Phil doesn't bother with pulling the belt off and leaves it there, unbuckled, while Dan threads his fingers through Phil's hair.

Phil's working at the button on Dan's jeans and the latter's eyes are shining with anticipation. The button finally comes undone and Dan realises that all that's separating Phil's mouth from Dan's dick is a thin layer of cloth. A shiver runs down his spine as Phil's hot breath moistens his boxers and leaves Dan wanting something, _anything_ , from him.

Phil runs his fingers along the waistband of Dan's boxers and Dan bucks his hips unintentionally. A red flush spreads across his face and neck, causing Phil to smirk and teasingly pull them lower, before letting them snap back up.

"Jesus, fuck," Dan breathes. "You fucking tease."

Phil hums in assent and attaches his magical fucking mouth to Dan's hips and all of a sudden there's nothing where his boxers used to be. They're replaced by Phil's breath and his wide eyes.

"For a thirteen-year-old," he says, risking a glance at Dan. "Well..."

Dan blushes and mutters something about getting on with it. Phil shrugs and slides up to place a lingering kiss on Dan's lips before sliding back down to gently, almost hesitantly **(but was it alien)** , place his lips on Dan's tip. He puts a hand near the base and just keeps it there, as if for balance (even though the two are lying down). Dan lets out a quiet moan, then stifles it, embarassed at how easily Phil has him in a puddle at his feet.

Phil takes this as incentive to lower his head, moving his tongue in a way that has Dan going mad. Dan's muttering curses under his breath, interrupted by the occasional squeak or breathy moan. Suddenly, Phil's got both hands on Dan's hips and the tip of his nose in the wiry hairs at Dan's base.

Dan stiffens when he hears - and feels - Phil pull his head up and off with a -pop!- that Dan thought only happened in pornos. Phil rewraps a hand around Dan's dick and just starts lazily jacking him off with expert flicks of his wrist, moving up to muffle all the erotic noises Dan's making with his own mouth.

It doesn't take long before Dan crumples beneath Phil, covering both of their stomachs in white liquid and groaning into Phil's mouth. Phil sits back and pulls Dan's boxers back up, grateful that he didn't come in his own pants at the filthy noises Dan had been making.

The two pull their shirts back on **(A/N haha sorry no dan - > phil action 'scuse me)** and Phil takes Dan's hand as they walk out of the clearing. Dan kisses his cheek and says, "That was the most fun I've ever had."

**Author's Note:**

> that was the first time i'd ever written smut wow also check me out on wattpad (shameless self promo) i'm rocketthebunny (and i posted this there originally im lame)


End file.
